Now we're trying again. Today is CD 1! So fertility drugs have been started. Doing Spy Isoflavones days 1-5 240 mgs, Clomid on days 5-9 50 mgs, 910 mgs of Cinnamon starting on day 1 and going till I ovulate and same for the 500 mgs of Royal Jelly!
So cross your fingers and if this cycle works for me I could have a birthday rainbow!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Weeks 22-33
It's been a while. I've been busy. Started a new job, health issues, family issues, etc. Basically life happened.
Time moved on pretty fast from weeks 22-33 for me. I do remember week 33 the best.
I have such a long story that I wonder how many times I can write this remembering all the details with perfect precision. It's hard when there's so many details and so much that happened. Grab some popcorn and some kleenex, you might need it. I wanted to allow everyone to read this since I know I've never shared it publicly before. Some know the story, but not all the details. This is most everything I remember. If I hadn't lived this nightmare I might believe it fabrication, but I promise this is all truth!
July 4, 2011, I'm sitting at home watching fireworks on TV. I'm 33 weeks pregnant, we decorated my belly for the occasion, celebrating that I reached 33 weeks and celebrating the fourth of July as well. Red and Blue markers spelled out Happy 4th! And 33 weeks on my belly with stars all over the hugely swollen belly I used to announce to everyone another week had gone by. I was feeling a tad upset that I felt like I put my foot in my mouth by finding out a former classmate of mine had lost her baby at 15 weeks. I had publicly asked her how her pregnancy was going and she responded to me. I was asked in return how I was doing since I was so hugely pregnant at the time. I felt like a dumba$$ for even saying anything, but supported her. I felt bad for her and didn't speak much about my pregnancy to her fearful I was rubbing it in her face.
July 5, 2011, my nieces ages 3 and 1 at the time were brought to me early in the morning for me to babysit while everyone else went to work. Mom wouldn't be home until well after 9pm, brother wouldn't be out of work until after 7pm, brother's gf and mother of his children that I was watching wouldn't be out until close to 8pm, and lastly hubby wouldn't be out until 8pm. So me hugely pregnant watching two very active little girls, shortly after the girls' mom left I started having some painful contractions. I'd been having some painful ones recently but they were just Braxton Hicks and weren't progressing me any, they were just being annoying. So because I'd been having so many, I was given turbutaline to help keep me comfortable. I took one then sat down with a 32 oz water and watched my nieces playing and watched movies with them. Contractions went away for a bit. When the medicine wore off I was back to hurting. I noticed I was in a bit more pain than I had been in previously and I noticed I was snapping at my nieces and it brought me back down to earth. Something was up and I needed to get checked out. I called my brother at this point and told him what was going on. As soon as I got it out of my mouth what was happening, I felt a gush. I freaked out and told him that I thought my water had broken right then. It's about 4 pm, so the times that people were supposed to be done with work are relevant here. I don't know what made me do it but I did; I reached down and put my hand down at the wet spot on my pants, my hand came back with my worst fear... blood, I was heavily bleeding at 33 weeks and I was so alone with two very young little girls in my house. I just told my brother I'm calling my hubby and letting him know, just for him or his gf to get there ASAP so we could go. I called hubby's boss since he wasn't allowed to keep his phone on his at work and I was told to call her if an emergency came up. I called her and she picked up (thank God!) I asked her if she was still at work, I was told she was in the parking lot about to leave and I freaked out, I practically yelled at her to go get Jason and send him home that I was bleeding like crazy and it felt like my water broke. The pain was increasing really bad at this point. It was one big contraction that wouldn't let up at all. She handed the phone over to Jason and I recalled what was going on to him and he left. his boss asked if there was anything I needed her to do. YES! Someone needs to watch the girls! She followed hubby home and I called my brother telling him that I had someone to watch the girls until they got here. When Jason came in the house, he helped me to the bathroom in the back of the house so I could change, I didn't want to get blood all over either vehicle! So I'm stripped from the waist down sitting on the toilet still gushing blood and water. I felt like I was about pass out. I told him I think he needed to call an ambulance to get me because there was no way I could make it on my own to the vehicle. He's calling 911 while I'm laying on the floor stripped from the waist down laying on a towel I thought to lay down so my bare bottom wasn't just laying on the cold hard floor. I asked for a pillow and for someone to call my mom while we were waiting on the paramedics. Paramedics came and I became a bit mortified to look up and 5 (yes FIVE!!!) MALE paramedics are hovering over me. Some weren't that bad looking. Got the grandpa of the group kneeled next to me, "I need to do this is that OK?" At like everything which was very irritating to me since I was in so much pain and lost half my blood volume before they could get to me. I finally told him I work in healthcare, I know you have to do it, just do it and get me out of here please! That was the worst ambulance ride in my life. I'm strapped down to a metal scooper on the stretcher in the back with two paramedics trying to get my collapsing veins to take two IVs before they could take off. I'm still gushing blood and being given the third degree about me going to the doctor like I was supposed to (yes I really was at my OB's office just a week before, my next appointment isn't for another week! I have been to every appointment not missing one, and yes everything has been fine until now!!!!!), I'm in an 11/10 on the pain scale now. My thoughts were sitting in my living room worried about my nieces and how they had to see me being carried out. Then the ambulance lurched forward shifting my weight to the back and increasing the pain. This went on for the whole 30 min (gosh it seemed much longer than that to me) to the hospital push on the brakes and it would shift me, push the gas and I'd get shifted again. The whole time I'm crying out to God and Jesus. The paramedic it felt was ignoring me. I was in so much pain I wanted to roll over to try and see if that would ease it (it was worth a try in my mind at the time!) but paramedic dude said I needed to stay on my left side it was best for the baby. I'm rolling my eyes now at him... I wanna roll over not be strapped down to the stretcher! We get to the hospital and they put me in the triage room to start off with. A whole crew is there to greet me. They get out the doppler to try and hear the heartbeat and they aren't getting much of anything. Pull in the ultrasound machine, doc yells out that I've got an abruption, the staff spring into action. I've never seen medical personnel that panicked in my life. I was rushed into the OR. I asked some questions on my way there. (Wait you guys are knocking me out right? Yes there's no time for an epidural. Was there a heartbeat? Yes a faint one! Let's get going then! What's the hold up?) I had to push my big pregnant and painful butt over to the c section table, people are still scrambling. I felt the catheter being put in as they were asking were anesthesia was. My belly was prepped, things were going on all around me and I'm still panicked like crazy and I'm being asked if I'm expecting a girl or boy and what is the name. Anesthesia finally gets there and she puts the medicine in my IV on my right arm. The mask is put on me and we wait... and wait. Why is she not asleep? They fiddle with my IV a bit a think it's not in correctly. So they go over to my left arm, and it works. The last image in my mind is the doctor with the blade over my belly about to tear into me.
I wake up and I start asking for my family, my brother mainly and my nieces, wait who is here anyway? Then it dawns on my why I'm laying there, and I ask the important question. "I'm so sorry, we tried to resuscitate her for 21 minutes but it didn't work. I couldn't cry or anything. I just had a c section and my belly hurts, it feels better than it did before but I'm not numb. I feel it and it hurts like crazy. They pull me into recovery and I'm told that they had to give me two bags of blood to replace what I had lost. I asked how soon my family could come back, and if I could hold my daughter, but I wanted my family in the room when I hold her because I wanted them to have the chance to hold her as well. They told me they took pictures as well and I could have them as well as several other items they were giving me. I stayed for 6 days in the hospital, visitors coming in and out, leaving things for me. My blood pressure was sky high from pre eclampsia and toxemia. Her funeral was the Saturday after I was released on July 16, 2011.
Time moved on pretty fast from weeks 22-33 for me. I do remember week 33 the best.
I have such a long story that I wonder how many times I can write this remembering all the details with perfect precision. It's hard when there's so many details and so much that happened. Grab some popcorn and some kleenex, you might need it. I wanted to allow everyone to read this since I know I've never shared it publicly before. Some know the story, but not all the details. This is most everything I remember. If I hadn't lived this nightmare I might believe it fabrication, but I promise this is all truth!
July 4, 2011, I'm sitting at home watching fireworks on TV. I'm 33 weeks pregnant, we decorated my belly for the occasion, celebrating that I reached 33 weeks and celebrating the fourth of July as well. Red and Blue markers spelled out Happy 4th! And 33 weeks on my belly with stars all over the hugely swollen belly I used to announce to everyone another week had gone by. I was feeling a tad upset that I felt like I put my foot in my mouth by finding out a former classmate of mine had lost her baby at 15 weeks. I had publicly asked her how her pregnancy was going and she responded to me. I was asked in return how I was doing since I was so hugely pregnant at the time. I felt like a dumba$$ for even saying anything, but supported her. I felt bad for her and didn't speak much about my pregnancy to her fearful I was rubbing it in her face.
July 5, 2011, my nieces ages 3 and 1 at the time were brought to me early in the morning for me to babysit while everyone else went to work. Mom wouldn't be home until well after 9pm, brother wouldn't be out of work until after 7pm, brother's gf and mother of his children that I was watching wouldn't be out until close to 8pm, and lastly hubby wouldn't be out until 8pm. So me hugely pregnant watching two very active little girls, shortly after the girls' mom left I started having some painful contractions. I'd been having some painful ones recently but they were just Braxton Hicks and weren't progressing me any, they were just being annoying. So because I'd been having so many, I was given turbutaline to help keep me comfortable. I took one then sat down with a 32 oz water and watched my nieces playing and watched movies with them. Contractions went away for a bit. When the medicine wore off I was back to hurting. I noticed I was in a bit more pain than I had been in previously and I noticed I was snapping at my nieces and it brought me back down to earth. Something was up and I needed to get checked out. I called my brother at this point and told him what was going on. As soon as I got it out of my mouth what was happening, I felt a gush. I freaked out and told him that I thought my water had broken right then. It's about 4 pm, so the times that people were supposed to be done with work are relevant here. I don't know what made me do it but I did; I reached down and put my hand down at the wet spot on my pants, my hand came back with my worst fear... blood, I was heavily bleeding at 33 weeks and I was so alone with two very young little girls in my house. I just told my brother I'm calling my hubby and letting him know, just for him or his gf to get there ASAP so we could go. I called hubby's boss since he wasn't allowed to keep his phone on his at work and I was told to call her if an emergency came up. I called her and she picked up (thank God!) I asked her if she was still at work, I was told she was in the parking lot about to leave and I freaked out, I practically yelled at her to go get Jason and send him home that I was bleeding like crazy and it felt like my water broke. The pain was increasing really bad at this point. It was one big contraction that wouldn't let up at all. She handed the phone over to Jason and I recalled what was going on to him and he left. his boss asked if there was anything I needed her to do. YES! Someone needs to watch the girls! She followed hubby home and I called my brother telling him that I had someone to watch the girls until they got here. When Jason came in the house, he helped me to the bathroom in the back of the house so I could change, I didn't want to get blood all over either vehicle! So I'm stripped from the waist down sitting on the toilet still gushing blood and water. I felt like I was about pass out. I told him I think he needed to call an ambulance to get me because there was no way I could make it on my own to the vehicle. He's calling 911 while I'm laying on the floor stripped from the waist down laying on a towel I thought to lay down so my bare bottom wasn't just laying on the cold hard floor. I asked for a pillow and for someone to call my mom while we were waiting on the paramedics. Paramedics came and I became a bit mortified to look up and 5 (yes FIVE!!!) MALE paramedics are hovering over me. Some weren't that bad looking. Got the grandpa of the group kneeled next to me, "I need to do this is that OK?" At like everything which was very irritating to me since I was in so much pain and lost half my blood volume before they could get to me. I finally told him I work in healthcare, I know you have to do it, just do it and get me out of here please! That was the worst ambulance ride in my life. I'm strapped down to a metal scooper on the stretcher in the back with two paramedics trying to get my collapsing veins to take two IVs before they could take off. I'm still gushing blood and being given the third degree about me going to the doctor like I was supposed to (yes I really was at my OB's office just a week before, my next appointment isn't for another week! I have been to every appointment not missing one, and yes everything has been fine until now!!!!!), I'm in an 11/10 on the pain scale now. My thoughts were sitting in my living room worried about my nieces and how they had to see me being carried out. Then the ambulance lurched forward shifting my weight to the back and increasing the pain. This went on for the whole 30 min (gosh it seemed much longer than that to me) to the hospital push on the brakes and it would shift me, push the gas and I'd get shifted again. The whole time I'm crying out to God and Jesus. The paramedic it felt was ignoring me. I was in so much pain I wanted to roll over to try and see if that would ease it (it was worth a try in my mind at the time!) but paramedic dude said I needed to stay on my left side it was best for the baby. I'm rolling my eyes now at him... I wanna roll over not be strapped down to the stretcher! We get to the hospital and they put me in the triage room to start off with. A whole crew is there to greet me. They get out the doppler to try and hear the heartbeat and they aren't getting much of anything. Pull in the ultrasound machine, doc yells out that I've got an abruption, the staff spring into action. I've never seen medical personnel that panicked in my life. I was rushed into the OR. I asked some questions on my way there. (Wait you guys are knocking me out right? Yes there's no time for an epidural. Was there a heartbeat? Yes a faint one! Let's get going then! What's the hold up?) I had to push my big pregnant and painful butt over to the c section table, people are still scrambling. I felt the catheter being put in as they were asking were anesthesia was. My belly was prepped, things were going on all around me and I'm still panicked like crazy and I'm being asked if I'm expecting a girl or boy and what is the name. Anesthesia finally gets there and she puts the medicine in my IV on my right arm. The mask is put on me and we wait... and wait. Why is she not asleep? They fiddle with my IV a bit a think it's not in correctly. So they go over to my left arm, and it works. The last image in my mind is the doctor with the blade over my belly about to tear into me.
I wake up and I start asking for my family, my brother mainly and my nieces, wait who is here anyway? Then it dawns on my why I'm laying there, and I ask the important question. "I'm so sorry, we tried to resuscitate her for 21 minutes but it didn't work. I couldn't cry or anything. I just had a c section and my belly hurts, it feels better than it did before but I'm not numb. I feel it and it hurts like crazy. They pull me into recovery and I'm told that they had to give me two bags of blood to replace what I had lost. I asked how soon my family could come back, and if I could hold my daughter, but I wanted my family in the room when I hold her because I wanted them to have the chance to hold her as well. They told me they took pictures as well and I could have them as well as several other items they were giving me. I stayed for 6 days in the hospital, visitors coming in and out, leaving things for me. My blood pressure was sky high from pre eclampsia and toxemia. Her funeral was the Saturday after I was released on July 16, 2011.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The 20 week ultrasound!
At 12 weeks we were told it was most likely a girl so when our 20 week ultrasound came around on April 7, 2011 we just verified it was a girl, and sure enough, it was! Everyone kept telling me that it was the clearest picture of a girl they had ever seen and that there was NO doubt in anyone's mind that we were having a girl! We also got a sense of her personality. She was laying transverse in my belly with her feet on the left side and her head at the right. She had a full bladder when the tech looked at first then when she went back she had gone to the bathroom on us without us knowing!
The tech went through and was trying to find all her parts and pieces and making sure everything was were it should be and working like it should, she went looking for her feet and hands and was having some difficulty. Stephanie had her feet crossed at the ankles and her right hand up by her head. She was perfectly healthy just a little stinker! We watched to see what she was doing for a while and she put her foot up in the air and grabbed her foot! It was so adorable to watch that!
My 20 week ultrasound:
My belly at 21 weeks!
The tech went through and was trying to find all her parts and pieces and making sure everything was were it should be and working like it should, she went looking for her feet and hands and was having some difficulty. Stephanie had her feet crossed at the ankles and her right hand up by her head. She was perfectly healthy just a little stinker! We watched to see what she was doing for a while and she put her foot up in the air and grabbed her foot! It was so adorable to watch that!
My 20 week ultrasound:
My belly at 21 weeks!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
My first Pregnancy!
I'm pregnant! Holy cow! How the heck is this possible? Pinch me cause I must be dreaming! Part of the pregnancy I didn't feel pregnant, there were a lot of times I truly "forgot" that I was pregnant. I did have morning sickness... make that all day sickness... for about 3 weeks. They about put me on IV fluids, I didn't want the fluids so I chose to take the medicine they were offering me. The medicine worked so things were fine. At 12 weeks we found out it was most likely a girl since the ultrasound tech said it would be impossible to get that flat if it were a boy! I was getting the little girl I wanted for my father in law (FIL.)
I found out shortly after hubby and I got married that my FIL always wanted a girl. His twin girls born Oct 1978 didn't survive. A year later Nov 1979, my hubby was born. He was raised an only child. I decided we needed to give my FIL a granddaughter so he could have his little girl!
Got another back story. About a year ago, we got a call telling us FIL was in the hospital with a major GI bleed. We knew he wouldn't make it to see our second child. Hubby and I had decided to have 5 years in between our children, mostly for my sanity. I didn't want to feel like a harassed mother with a newborn and a toddler, looking like I'm about to pull the last strand of hair off my head. (No offense to anyone else who has done this and lived through it, but I just didn't think I could handle that for me, personal choice.) Hubby and I decided we would try Shettles method and diet changes to help increase our chances of having a girl for him. I never dreamed my FIL wouldn't make it to see our first child.
March 15, 2011. Hubby wakes me up early in the morning. His father died that morning. As the day unfolded, we received more and more details of what happened. The last little bit of details came to us several days later, and it pissed me off horribly. Apparently, FIL's wife (not hubby's mother, it was his stepmother) had been up and down with FIL all night. Finally at 5 am she told him that she was going to lay down for a couple hours and when she woke back up they would go to the ER to get him fixed. She woke up around 8 am. Went in to wake him to get him ready to go and he wasn't breathing. She called an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, they pronounced him, and said he most likely passed at 5:30 am. If only she had taken him then! I mean I know she probably didn't mean any harm from it, but I don't think I sleep knowing my husband was sick enough for me to feel I needed to take him to the ER no matter how long I'd been up with him over night. How in the world could she do that?
It was a whirlwind of activity. The week previous to FIL dying, we had been on vacation to a friend's house 14 hours away. We left their house Sunday March 13, and arrived home around midnight. I had an OB appointment in the morning and then had to go to work. Then we got the call about FIL, we spent all of the 15th making arrangements, dealing with the grave site fiasco (that's a whole other story in and of itself! It's hilarious as well as stupid), and making phone calls to everyone to let people know. The next day we had the funeral and graveside service. Gotta keep in mind, I'm 4 months pregnant at this time. I was exhausted after all this. Hubby and I had Thursday off and I was back at work Friday and worked through Monday. By the time Tuesday hit I was so exhausted that I couldn't get up from the couch for two of my three days off.
I was upset that my daughter wasn't going to know her grandfather who wanted her so badly! We were going to let her know she was born for her grandfather and we so badly wished she could get to know her.
We meant to tell him before he died that we were going to name our little girl after his twins that died. We never got to tell him. Fortunately, someone else did. He was thrilled! We found out that he wanted us to use Stephanie as the main name since he was so partial to it. I named her Stephanie-Ann Melissa. I thought the Ann sounded like and. Stephanie Lynn and Melissa Jean were their names. I know my FIL is up in Heaven playing with all three of them now.
Ultrasound at 10 weeks!
Ultrasound at 12 weeks!
Belly pic at 14 weeks and 15 weeks. We went on vacation for week 16, FIL died for week 17.
Belly pic at 18 weeks.
I found out shortly after hubby and I got married that my FIL always wanted a girl. His twin girls born Oct 1978 didn't survive. A year later Nov 1979, my hubby was born. He was raised an only child. I decided we needed to give my FIL a granddaughter so he could have his little girl!
Got another back story. About a year ago, we got a call telling us FIL was in the hospital with a major GI bleed. We knew he wouldn't make it to see our second child. Hubby and I had decided to have 5 years in between our children, mostly for my sanity. I didn't want to feel like a harassed mother with a newborn and a toddler, looking like I'm about to pull the last strand of hair off my head. (No offense to anyone else who has done this and lived through it, but I just didn't think I could handle that for me, personal choice.) Hubby and I decided we would try Shettles method and diet changes to help increase our chances of having a girl for him. I never dreamed my FIL wouldn't make it to see our first child.
March 15, 2011. Hubby wakes me up early in the morning. His father died that morning. As the day unfolded, we received more and more details of what happened. The last little bit of details came to us several days later, and it pissed me off horribly. Apparently, FIL's wife (not hubby's mother, it was his stepmother) had been up and down with FIL all night. Finally at 5 am she told him that she was going to lay down for a couple hours and when she woke back up they would go to the ER to get him fixed. She woke up around 8 am. Went in to wake him to get him ready to go and he wasn't breathing. She called an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, they pronounced him, and said he most likely passed at 5:30 am. If only she had taken him then! I mean I know she probably didn't mean any harm from it, but I don't think I sleep knowing my husband was sick enough for me to feel I needed to take him to the ER no matter how long I'd been up with him over night. How in the world could she do that?
It was a whirlwind of activity. The week previous to FIL dying, we had been on vacation to a friend's house 14 hours away. We left their house Sunday March 13, and arrived home around midnight. I had an OB appointment in the morning and then had to go to work. Then we got the call about FIL, we spent all of the 15th making arrangements, dealing with the grave site fiasco (that's a whole other story in and of itself! It's hilarious as well as stupid), and making phone calls to everyone to let people know. The next day we had the funeral and graveside service. Gotta keep in mind, I'm 4 months pregnant at this time. I was exhausted after all this. Hubby and I had Thursday off and I was back at work Friday and worked through Monday. By the time Tuesday hit I was so exhausted that I couldn't get up from the couch for two of my three days off.
I was upset that my daughter wasn't going to know her grandfather who wanted her so badly! We were going to let her know she was born for her grandfather and we so badly wished she could get to know her.
We meant to tell him before he died that we were going to name our little girl after his twins that died. We never got to tell him. Fortunately, someone else did. He was thrilled! We found out that he wanted us to use Stephanie as the main name since he was so partial to it. I named her Stephanie-Ann Melissa. I thought the Ann sounded like and. Stephanie Lynn and Melissa Jean were their names. I know my FIL is up in Heaven playing with all three of them now.
Ultrasound at 10 weeks!
Ultrasound at 12 weeks!
Belly pic at 14 weeks and 15 weeks. We went on vacation for week 16, FIL died for week 17.
Monday, August 1, 2011
My story.
Maybe I should back up some, maybe like 3 years ago when I got the diagnosis. I knew something was wrong when my period didn't let up for 6 weeks. I was begging for it to stop. So the doctor told me to come in for an ultrasound to see what was going on. I will never forget the what I saw on the screen. A big black hole that covered the entire screen basically my ovary couldn't be seen around it. Seems I'd had a cyst burst and there were more all over my ovaries. So it was back to the birth control pills until we could decide it was time for us to have a baby. A kick in the gut since I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive without medical intervention.
Summer of 2010 we decided to go for it.
We tried for 6 months on our own to conceive on our own. I temped everyday for those 6 months, bought OPKs (ovulation predictor kits), I even tried a fertility test since it came in the box I had bought. Nothing. I was getting tired of before I got up putting the thermometer in my mouth to get my temp, then going to the bathroom to see if my hormones were high enough for me to ovulate and putting all the information on an online chart. Sex every other day for a week or two.
That last cycle was murder on me. It was 45 days and I was miserable, PMS symptoms like crazy and my period wasn't coming. Through my charting I found that I didn't even ovulate that cycle. So did the doctor. It was clear we weren't going to be able to do it on our own. So here comes the fertility drugs. I temped again every morning, used the OPK every morning, had a pill to take on cycle days 3-21 and another one to take on cycle days 5-10 and sex again scheduled by the doctor (he marked a chart for me.) I did everything exactly like the doctor "prescribed."
December 12, 2010, I got a negative test. A negative test doesn't mean anything until the big red dot shows up. Plus it wasn't time for my dot to start, I was being hopeful. I felt weird. I was suffering from something I had no idea what it was for several days, I had to look it up on google to find out what it was.... heartburn. For the first time in my life I had heartburn! I was cramping too. I never cramp before my period. The day before my period would be due, I took a test to see if I should be expecting it.
December 14, 2010, A faint positive showed up. I called my hubby's boss who was supposed to be helping me tell hubby. She was going to tell him he needed to call me ASAP and make it sound like a big emergency. I waited until I was to get a call from him so I could call the doctor. Since it was past time for him to be at work, I wanted to make it look like I had tried to get him and couldn't before his boss got to him so I sent him a text telling him to call me ASAP. He did. He was late getting into work and my text got to him first, (dammit). I told him I got a positive. We're having a baby and I'm calling the doctor to set up our first appointment!
I called the doctor to set up the appointment, I have to come in for blood work first. OK how long before you get it back? If you come in before this time we'll have it back today! All right, I'm on my way. They called me back later telling me my progesterone was fine, and that I was REALLY early, well yes by my calculations I'm 3 weeks 4 days! Yes very early! My beta number was 88.7.
I had to tell my mom so I tried being subtle about it. I told her we needed to change the lottery numbers and I needed to know how many numbers we needed to complete it. I knew we needed 5 numbers, so I said well I know I want the numbers 8, 26 and 11. She didn't get it. So I tried it a different way, 8-26-11. Still didn't get it. How about August 26, 2011? Nope. I said I wish your phone could get pictures cause I'd send one to you. She gave me her work email. So I sent it. She told me later that she had to get one of the "younger" ladies to let her know what it was. "Oh someone's pregnant! Who's pregnant?" Mom said she yelled so loudly that she had to let everyone know there. Now she gets it!
December 16, 2010, I took another test to make sure the test was going to get darker. It did. Went to the doc to have another beta done the next day. Beta numbers 314.7. Last beta done December 20, 2010 number: 1887. My first appointment was scheduled for January 10, 2011. (A snowstorm would prevent me from going in that day, but we were able to go in the next day.)
Second test December 16, 2010
First ultrasound January 11,2011 (fetal nickname Kakuna after the Pokemon that looks like a cocoon.)
Heartbeat!
Summer of 2010 we decided to go for it.
We tried for 6 months on our own to conceive on our own. I temped everyday for those 6 months, bought OPKs (ovulation predictor kits), I even tried a fertility test since it came in the box I had bought. Nothing. I was getting tired of before I got up putting the thermometer in my mouth to get my temp, then going to the bathroom to see if my hormones were high enough for me to ovulate and putting all the information on an online chart. Sex every other day for a week or two.
That last cycle was murder on me. It was 45 days and I was miserable, PMS symptoms like crazy and my period wasn't coming. Through my charting I found that I didn't even ovulate that cycle. So did the doctor. It was clear we weren't going to be able to do it on our own. So here comes the fertility drugs. I temped again every morning, used the OPK every morning, had a pill to take on cycle days 3-21 and another one to take on cycle days 5-10 and sex again scheduled by the doctor (he marked a chart for me.) I did everything exactly like the doctor "prescribed."
December 12, 2010, I got a negative test. A negative test doesn't mean anything until the big red dot shows up. Plus it wasn't time for my dot to start, I was being hopeful. I felt weird. I was suffering from something I had no idea what it was for several days, I had to look it up on google to find out what it was.... heartburn. For the first time in my life I had heartburn! I was cramping too. I never cramp before my period. The day before my period would be due, I took a test to see if I should be expecting it.
December 14, 2010, A faint positive showed up. I called my hubby's boss who was supposed to be helping me tell hubby. She was going to tell him he needed to call me ASAP and make it sound like a big emergency. I waited until I was to get a call from him so I could call the doctor. Since it was past time for him to be at work, I wanted to make it look like I had tried to get him and couldn't before his boss got to him so I sent him a text telling him to call me ASAP. He did. He was late getting into work and my text got to him first, (dammit). I told him I got a positive. We're having a baby and I'm calling the doctor to set up our first appointment!
I called the doctor to set up the appointment, I have to come in for blood work first. OK how long before you get it back? If you come in before this time we'll have it back today! All right, I'm on my way. They called me back later telling me my progesterone was fine, and that I was REALLY early, well yes by my calculations I'm 3 weeks 4 days! Yes very early! My beta number was 88.7.
I had to tell my mom so I tried being subtle about it. I told her we needed to change the lottery numbers and I needed to know how many numbers we needed to complete it. I knew we needed 5 numbers, so I said well I know I want the numbers 8, 26 and 11. She didn't get it. So I tried it a different way, 8-26-11. Still didn't get it. How about August 26, 2011? Nope. I said I wish your phone could get pictures cause I'd send one to you. She gave me her work email. So I sent it. She told me later that she had to get one of the "younger" ladies to let her know what it was. "Oh someone's pregnant! Who's pregnant?" Mom said she yelled so loudly that she had to let everyone know there. Now she gets it!
December 16, 2010, I took another test to make sure the test was going to get darker. It did. Went to the doc to have another beta done the next day. Beta numbers 314.7. Last beta done December 20, 2010 number: 1887. My first appointment was scheduled for January 10, 2011. (A snowstorm would prevent me from going in that day, but we were able to go in the next day.)
First pregnancy test December 14,2010
First ultrasound January 11,2011 (fetal nickname Kakuna after the Pokemon that looks like a cocoon.)
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I hate taboos!
There's one thing really wrong with this world: no one shares much especially when it's something that used to be a topic of non discussion when my grandparents were growing up. There's a ton of things on this list, out of wedlock children, out of wedlock living together, homosexuality or even just sexuality in general. My biggest taboo issue is something that I have experienced myself: Fertility and pregnancy and infant loss. I suffer from Infertility. I'll blog about that at a different time as well as my loss.
The biggest question is why is infertility such a taboo subject? Is it because it's not acceptable to not be able to have your own children the cheap way? Is it Catholicism, which doesn't believe in means of "artificial" pregnancy or birth control? Why do those of us who suffer from infertility feel we have to hide this and even our feelings when we're supposed to be happy about someone else getting pregnant and watch them enjoy their babies? Why should we?
My biggest reason for this is to help raise awareness. Infertility should NOT be a taboo subject. When conventional methods of conceiving fail, what are we all supposed to do? Everyone wants their own genes being passed on. A woman wants to feel everything in pregnancy, yes even the morning sickness is a great thing to feel until you can feel that baby move on it's own by practicing their kicks on your over-stretched belly! The morning sickness helps you know the pregnancy is progressing since so many pregnancies don't even make it past the first three months. The thrill of feeling your own little one growing inside your belly is amazing. That's what we all hear anyway.
Imagine being the one suffering from infertility and are hearing all this good stuff that happens during pregnancy, while you are spending your life savings to get the drugs that will *possibly* allow you to carry your own child. Sometimes it can be years before the medications can work right, or you may end up with more than you bargain for. There's so many risks!
Take a look next time at how many shows have babies being born, or raising children is being shown, count how many commercials show babies and the loving mother/child relationship being shown in a beautiful way, the latest baby products showing a cute baby using these items. Next time you go to the store think about going through those aisles of baby products you wish you could buy but may never be able to because you have no idea if this cycle works or not, how many days is it before I can get a positive pregnancy test?
The sheer amount of things out there that will remind you of something you can't have but long for more than anything in this world is astounding. I'm fighting to make infertility a non taboo subject especially since 1 in 8 couples suffers from one form of infertility or another male or female. Infertility should not be something we HAVE to hide from others.
The biggest question is why is infertility such a taboo subject? Is it because it's not acceptable to not be able to have your own children the cheap way? Is it Catholicism, which doesn't believe in means of "artificial" pregnancy or birth control? Why do those of us who suffer from infertility feel we have to hide this and even our feelings when we're supposed to be happy about someone else getting pregnant and watch them enjoy their babies? Why should we?
My biggest reason for this is to help raise awareness. Infertility should NOT be a taboo subject. When conventional methods of conceiving fail, what are we all supposed to do? Everyone wants their own genes being passed on. A woman wants to feel everything in pregnancy, yes even the morning sickness is a great thing to feel until you can feel that baby move on it's own by practicing their kicks on your over-stretched belly! The morning sickness helps you know the pregnancy is progressing since so many pregnancies don't even make it past the first three months. The thrill of feeling your own little one growing inside your belly is amazing. That's what we all hear anyway.
Imagine being the one suffering from infertility and are hearing all this good stuff that happens during pregnancy, while you are spending your life savings to get the drugs that will *possibly* allow you to carry your own child. Sometimes it can be years before the medications can work right, or you may end up with more than you bargain for. There's so many risks!
Take a look next time at how many shows have babies being born, or raising children is being shown, count how many commercials show babies and the loving mother/child relationship being shown in a beautiful way, the latest baby products showing a cute baby using these items. Next time you go to the store think about going through those aisles of baby products you wish you could buy but may never be able to because you have no idea if this cycle works or not, how many days is it before I can get a positive pregnancy test?
The sheer amount of things out there that will remind you of something you can't have but long for more than anything in this world is astounding. I'm fighting to make infertility a non taboo subject especially since 1 in 8 couples suffers from one form of infertility or another male or female. Infertility should not be something we HAVE to hide from others.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)